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[retorter]

INSERT DEFAULT VOICE MAIL MESSAGE BECAUSE SOMEONE'S TOO TECHNOLOGICALLY INEPT LAZY TO BOTHER

for text, voice, video, spam, action

(credit)

Comments

[ text ]

[retorter]

[ 'his entire life went down the toilet' he sees what u did thar ]

oh i see so he's actually self-aware

[ to know that he's a embarrassment ]

he doesn't talk about it but it keeps on coming up huh

[ wtf... yamato is truly an okita sword ]

[ text ]

[yasusada]

[ just listen here is that not how hijikata felt or looks. ]

i fyuo show him th epciture
im sure it wont end well

[ But do they ever want it to end well? ]

som are worried and jst want to kno why..
he hrut hismelf
since we're all shinsengumi here
it should be ok

[ Ugh, what a good sword. Like WasuSooj had said.. Yamato gained the right genes. ]

[ text ]

[retorter]

[ 'why he hurt himself' okay that gets Souji to laugh out loud in a way that the picture hadn't... ]

no i agree. the shinsegumi should know when hijikata-san's being dumb

[ any other time Souji would be like pffft we're not actually all part of the shinsegumi, but for shithead reasons he's totally on board now ]

good job yamato. thanks for showing me this very important picture. ill keep it safe

[ look he'll even say he's a good sword out loud... over text that is ]

[ text ]

[yasusada]

he sout vice commander
so i gues s it only rirgt
we kno when hes
beign like
This
do yuo think he has a fear of the toilet
i hope for him.

[ Yamato prays. ]

111111111111111111111111111111

[ HE WAS TOO SHOCKED! He wanted to say "!" instead but he sometimes forget to click shift and he forgot to take his hand off the key. ]

i m a happy
i trst it in yuor hands

[ HOLY HELL! IS THAT A GOOD JOB! Screen shots it 1000 times and places it as lockscreen and background. ]

[ text ] ommmg that icon

[retorter]

[ yamato??? ugh that's so cute... but pls... WHY IS UR SPELLING LIKE THIS??? ]

i don't know. maybe he does? if he's scared of the toilet then i guess we have to help him. the best way to get over your fears is to confront them after all

[ 'help' ]

[ text ] this is your sword

[yasusada]

[ STOP HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TEXT GOOD, HE'S OLD FASHIONED!! ]

oo h
mayve we can lock him in teh batrhoom
do yuo think
if he stays in threr for
4 days.. hell be ok?

[ This is awful. ]

[ text ] shakes head

[retorter]

[ IF KASHUU CAN LEARN SO CAN YOU!!! ]

maybe? sometimes it takes years for people to recover, but hijikata-san isn't a normal person, so four days sounds fine

[ let's do it ]

[ text ] WHY ARENT YOU PROUD!!

[yasusada]

[ STP HE'S BEEN HERE FOR LIKE 6 MONTHS ugh teach him. ]

years..
if ist des tak ethat amount og time
i beleive he can brave it
he is our vice commande
we hav to make sur ehe fisnt afriad of toilets anymore

[ Ugh the influence is here. ]

[ text ] ur 2moe4me

[retorter]

[ time to start a shinsengumi typing academy ]

let's do our best. it'd be terrible for the shinsegumi's reputation if hijikata-san doesn't get over toilets

[ probably the weirdest text he'll ever type..... ]

is he living in the same house as you?

[ text ] is this a good thing or a bad thing looks out window i knew okit kun didnt love me

[yasusada]

i thnk we do want him over them
it wld be bad.. if .. he didnt put him self
ovr them
ugh.......................

[ Ugh.. they need to help him no matter what. ]

hmm? nno he dodnst live w us
bt i kno horikakwa kunihrio goes to vivsit him
what about yuo/
where do yuo live/

[ text ] listen??? what do u do with all this moe

[retorter]

[ plan: locking hijikata into a bathroom out of their own messed up desires to "help" him.... initiated.... ]

you mean horikawa kunihiro? are all the swords of the shinsengumi here? [ what the heck. hijikata's wakizashi is here too.... ugh where's kondou-san's sword........... ;-; ]

i live in that really tall building where everyone else lives. the lowest floor. the number on the door says 12.

[ he figures that's as good of an address as any. Cerealia streets are Weird ]

[ text ] im not even moe just what the heck ugh..

[yasusada]

mhm yes/ ive hear dthat izuminokami kanesada and nagasone kotetsu wer ehere at one point but..

[ They're gone.. ]

we havent learned the wherebaouts of sanos spear or heiskukes sword.. hopefully we'll meet th rm one day

[ Step up your game, TKRB. ]

ooo h may i com visit sometime
i could fix yuo something to eat
and fuff your piloqs
or i could bring yuo something as wlel!

[ text ] ur murdermoe

[retorter]

[ what is that ominous but... but??? BUT WHAT??? jk Souji can more or less guess what should be after those ellipses. He's not sure whether he should be disappointed or glad. It's weird enough meeting Yamato and Kashuu... also the heck, what is this truly moe message... don't make souji regret telling you where he lives, yamato! ]

something to eat? so u know how to cook then?

[ do swords need to eat ]

[ text ] STOP make me angry and ill step on you from moe to do s tbh

[yasusada]

i cna
everyrone says the flavour is too strong
but i thnk it sjust fine/

[ Besides, it's only strong since tuberculosis eats away the taste buds, so maybe with a little added effort it'll be tasty. To Yamato and Kashuu anyway, they took up this trait from which Souji, one of them. All of you. In any case, it's good enough to eat and is alway sserved in big quantities since Yamato has an endless void for a stomach. ]

im not as godo as kasen kanesad
but
its the thot that counts

[ text ] 1/2 ugh truly an okitasword

[retorter]

[ ........the flavor.............. a few minutes pass by after Souji receives this text. it could mean nothing, but his suspicions seem to be justified considering the person he's talking to. it makes sense. it makes him want to laugh. ]

i see.

[ for a second, he wonders if the ochimizu healed his sense of taste as well ]

[ text ] 2/2

[retorter]

[ is that all souji's going to say???? finally he sends another text ]

im a pretty picky guy though.
what happens if i don't like it?
are you really ready to handle that responsibility

[ less picky and more like moody and contrary with his appetite...... ]

[ text ] ugh im laughing so hard i hate this

[yasusada]

[ Yamato is slightly worried, what's with these text messages coming in too long! Did he say something wrong? Though he lights up when one comes.. happy. ]

hm if yuo dont
i hav to try better
but my cocoking isnt for everyone
so i udnertsnad that

bt i hav lots of credits
so i can buy yuo somtehing at a resturant
or w/e
whats yuor fav food ill make that
:o
tht me with my mouth open i am curious :O

[ text ] fk it sounds like they're flirting

[retorter]

[ ugh yamato slow ur moe emoticons!!! if this was anyone else, souji would probably make some kind of joke here about wanting to cozy up to a shinsengumi captain.... but it's yamato, and he has a good idea why he's going through all this effort to Feed Souji!!! ]

:O ? that doesn't look like you.

[ someone tell souji to turn his head to the side ]

my favorite food huh. i don't really have anything like that. but if youre that curious

[ .......he should shut yamato down right about now, shouldn't he? it was fun talking about trapping Hijikata in the bathroom (smh at both), but this was a kindness that ranged into something more personal now. hm. maybe he should make it hard for yamato..... ]

how about sakuramochi?

[ text ] UGH pmksooj and kash do the same thing we're following in their steps

[yasusada]

[ For him, he takes time out to do these things and reads every incoming text with care. He's not trying to be a huge moe, where could anyone get that from!! Smiling only a little bit, maybe that :O isn't him. ]

well :) :D >:D reminds meme of yuo
or what i thoutght of when we agreed to help vice comamnder
with his toilet efear

ddi yuo know yuo can also :3c

[ Teaching him a little bit of emotes he has learned!! Ugh, Souji better be glad they have the recipe on youtube. Ugh, making me, komyudoodle, work hard. Yamato too. ]

os tht what yuo want
then ill amke sure to fix it
i wnder can i bring them over
whrn theyre done
do yuo have a key under yuor mat
some people do tht
just in case i come lat e in thr nigt or ealry in the morning
i want yuo to have them frehsly made/

[ text ] SMH AT SOOJS AND SWORDS

[retorter]

[ "reads every incoming text with care" THAt'S MOE YAMATO. but they don't.... wait..... ohhhhhhhhhh HE KIND OF SEES IT NOW ]

like this >:3c ?

[ gj komyu gj souji should have asked for something HARDER ]

so you'll really do it? i'm impressed.
night time's fine. i don't have an extra key, so you'll just have to knock.

[ text ] UGH why do they let this happen

[yasusada]

[ STOP, WHY DO YOU CALL HIM MOE. Yamato will leave this term one day!! Ugh How dare Sooj learn to be cute, UGH EVEN THE ANGRY BROWS!!! ]

thts u
>:9
i relalized that vice commander is - __---------
kiyomitsu is like >_>

[ No! This is hard enough!!!! Yamato has to learn how to use the microwave correctly now!! ]

of course im going to do iT111
how manay would yuo want
100 :o
i have to knock, yuo could leave yuor door unlcoked11

[ text ] look this wouldn't happen if yamato and kashuu left the soojs to cough alone??

[retorter]

[ yamato....... how have u not learned to use the microwave JUST PRESS SOME BUTTONS ]

it really looks like them.

[ also 100????? geezus what has he gotten himself into.... ]

100?
i don't know about swords but i can't eat that many.
but if you think you can make that many then
why not?

[ ugh souji u little shit. watch he's going to regret this ]

normally i wouldn't care about locking the door
but there are some people here that im not too fond of. and they're not the sort to knock politely, you know?

[ 'some people' meaning kaoru. and just kaoru pretty much. he is not going to wake up in the middle of the afternoon coughing out a lung only to see Kaoru hanging out on his futon okay???? ]

but if u make them delicious
then maybe i'll think about giving u a key

[ text ] maybe if yawl just gave tb to yamato so he can die!! kashuu is kashuu... he does what he wa

[yasusada]

[ That's too tedious for him, he is still learning. HOW ABOUT YOU TEACH HIM!! Do you know to to use it :/ :\. ]

it does
bt vice comcmnade ri s agood person
i thnk
sometimes

well we dnt need to eat
but i liek to
its really nice
i can eat a lot and its fine i want to taste everything
ill evn give yuo what i try too.

[ Ugh, this really does sound like they're flirting I hate this. ]

oooh
who is itill beat tehm up for yuo
yuo got here recently and made an enemy?

[ Ugh @Aki please make this happen. ]

theyre going to be better than delicious
theyre going to be
rellay godo tht yuo slap vice commander
but please.. dont slap anyone

[ text ] WHAT WOULD TB SOLVE

[retorter]

[ ....no he doesn't okay but he juST GOT HERE!! what's yamato's excuse >:|!!!! also hijikata... a good person... not that yamato's entirely wrong, but calling a gumi a good person... ]

i hope we have the same tastes then. it'd be annoying if you gave me something I didn't like.

[ souji the smirking shithead types... while laughing at yamato's flirt texts. ]

i didn't make one. that guy's from my world, you see. so we were already enemies.
anyway don't concern yourself with it. it's not that important.

[ one day.... yamato the bloodhound will be released, right @aki ]

wow. that good, huh?
i'm looking forward to them now

[ don't put slapping ideas in his head!!! ]

[ text ] IT WOULD MAKEME HAPPY

[yasusada]

[ STOP YAMATO DOESNT LIKENEW THINgs hes stuck in the past ugh where is his trackphone with only snake on it. ]

hhuh is tht so then
ill try nt to make it annoying
do yuo thnk we'dhave the same taste
tht wuld be good for me1111

which guy :o should i be wary of him
i can stb him in the eye if yuo want

[ Ugh, we have it out to Aki, we will defeat him. ]

:O yse
i cna bring vice commaner
so if they re relaly good
you can slep him
how about it